Hi mates. I've decided to stop writing for good. I've been thinking, and i find it kinda pointless to pen down my thoughts and vent my anger here.

It also irks me as I've heard of people who do not know me well, reading my thoughts penned here and judging me simultaneously.

Somehow, i also found over 5 people linking me although I've always wanted to keep my thoughts private to only the people i know.

This was suppose to be just some.. free fraggy yaggy place to keep my thoughts and feelings. It was a free space of mine to remain childish actually.

Anyhow, the nation wants my life for 2 solid years starting from the 13th of July.

I have roughly over 80 days left and i don't think that's a lot of time left. Maybe just enough to go round the world once which is quite pathetic imo.

Thus, i've decided that I shall invest the little time that i have left wisely from today onwards and.. I don't think writing posts like the ones below sound like a good and wise investment.

I will be back one day, perhaps when I'm high again on some form of alcohol.

But.. Till then.

Day 4/21. Thank you God!

I love you and you know it.

Boomz. & Shingz.

Cya people, God willing.

I don't know why but i am suddenly reminded of this verse in Romans 13.

¹¹And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. ¹²The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. ¹³Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. ¹⁴Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

I seriously need some help with my sleeping schedule.

I need to live each day like my last, to ensure that i do not waste my days on earth away.

I need to get things fixed. I need to get things right.

Time to wake up from my slumber and stop living such a life of sin.

Instead of satisfying my own sinful desires, i should instead change myself to satisfy God more.

I will live each day as my last, to make sure it will be fulfilling.

I will be bold and make sure i ask, for i certainly would not want to live to regret in the future.

I have a to-do list for tomorrow. I will attempt to go to sleep now.

Good night knights.

Day 2/21.

The only thing that i want to pen down today is..

We need to be careful in not spending too much time on matters of little importance.

We need to have the correct mindset to do things the correct way.

We need to make a stand and know when we should say no and make it a firm decision.

Tomorrow will never be like today, let this post be a reminder for the days to come.

It takes 21 days to cultivate a habit. This is day 1 of fasting from it.

I wanted to sleep by 2am but.. Whoops..I can't stop you know what.

So many questions, so little answers.

You know, it's so funny to see the different behaviour of people in this world. The brain is such a powerful mechanism.

There's this guy that i know of, he is feeling rather fatigue and has a bad headache. However, he keeps lying to himself by telling his mind that the headaches are not there and that he isn't the least bit tired. Guess how's he feeling now? Hey Crazy.

There's another guy that i know of, i don't know why but, he has a lot of trouble admitting that he's at fault or when he's at a losing end. He pretends that he's happy and that this is how he wants it. But right back in his mind, he knows that he's just a want-to-be. Please wake up.

There's also this guy, he loves to play the comparison game. If i say I'm going to buy a John Mayer Stratocaster. I can imagine him saying, "I'm going to get a 1995 Yngwie Malmsteen Limited Edition Signature in solar blue or in cream cheese white because i just want to show you that I'm better and the words i use are going to make you feel jealous, but hey, i think I failed badly." This person also has tendencies to get jealous easily because of the nature of his thoughts. Poor thing.

There's also this guy, well.. he has no friends. Wait, maybe the only friends he has are in church because people in church tend to be not so judgemental and a christian will always befriend another christian right? What the chuck? Good excuse to make friends. He use to be the one over my head but I'm glad the days of his reign over me are over. I can almost see his empire crumbling down because he's trying to be realistic in this world but, he says he believe in God. Come on. Is this a joke, or is this a joke? You say you have faith in God but you do not believe that God will be able to move you further than you eggtarded life? Yet again, you say this is wisdom but.. you don't even have enough to win a girl's heart and instead, you left a big mess for others to clear. Exfuckcuse me? You kidding me? Please, please, please do not do things ever again based on you feelings but please base them on God. Actually, maybe you might want to contact me for more advices at.. 917-get a fucking life- 25.

There's also another guy that i recently met. He's so judgemental that he can complain, rant and judge people in the wee hours of the morning. Is that a talent or what? I think he's pretty cool too actually. Although he might tend to spend many sleepless nights thinking about many stupid things and about someone, i guess he's only human after all and is just feeling emotional over this down point of his life. The only things that keeps him going is the one he calls father from above and the extremely warmth and comfort his family has always provided in times of need. He bids good night and farewell for he's going to find something else to do as this is getting a little boring. He's just venting his anger and frustrations. After all, this is his space aye.

Disclaimer: Please do not take anything here seriously and if what I've mentioned happens to sound like you, please note that this is purely coincidental and i have no intention of tearing down anyone that reads my post. Please also note that no animals and reptiles were harmed while this post was being composed. Thank you for your kind understanding and goodbye, see you again, bird brain.

I have an omelette's headache and this little bitch is pounding right onto my skull.

Just an important lesson on how important we should rest ourselves so that we do not get physically, mentally and most importantly, spiritually worn out.

I think there's a reason why God rested on the seventh day after his creating spree.This shows how important it is to rest. I certainly would not think that God would do things for fun or for no reason.

That is why, just like how God rested on the seventh day, most people have a "Sabbath" of their own too. It is not necessary for it to be on a Sunday but these people take time to rest, do things that they love to do and of cause, spend time with their lord and savior to make sure they have new revelations to keep them going. I used to do that but i have been eating too much skiving snack boxes lately you see.

Sometimes, we just get so tired because we are simply so sick of doing the same old things that God has commanded us to do. Most of the time, this happens because we have been too busy trying to get things right ourselves that we forget to spend time to seek God and ask for more directions. We keep wandering alone in this desert of thoughts and paved countless paths that we think leads to us pleasing God, but in fact, we're just going in circles and making ourselves so tired that we want to quit.

We eat daily to keep our stomachs filled, so must we read the word daily to keep us spiritually filled and equipped.

I'm sure we all know too that we have a limit to our body. No doubt, God will be able to sustain us but if we do not take care of our body like sleeping early and such, it will disrupt the supposing rest God has planned for us for the following day. I don't think God intended to let me sleep till 3pm in the afternoon daily and waste the other half of my day away. I'm quite guilty with this and it's so hard to change now because my biological clock is just crazy.

⁵ Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.

⁶ He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

⁷ My salvation and my honor depend on God ^[a] ;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

⁸ Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

Selah

- Psalm 62.

The best way to have a good rest is to indulge in the word of God for you can be refreshed fully. Taking a bathe might help, going out to chill with your friends might help, sleeping might be a way out but..

Don't we all still get tired although we sleep daily? In fact, sleeping more makes you more tired.

Bear in mind our body grows weary and weak because we're not God and we age. So, do not expect it to last eternally because our body will fail us one day unlike God, who is all powerful.

Do you think we will be able to last for days without ample rest or without food and water? Obviously, no. I don't even think God would give us the strength to do things or assign tasks to us if our lifestyle is not pleasing to him and when we're depriving our body from what it needs.

You have no wisdom in you if you pray daily for God to keep you working for 24/7 without rest, food and water. God will be able to to that for sure, but what's the point in that? Our weak body might not even be able to take it. The mind may be willing but remember, the body is weak.

But yet again, to the thinkers, what if God actually makes my body so invincible that it does not grow weary or age. Then.. I think you should actually belong in heaven and not earth because you're already immortal. :)

In the verse above, it speaks of God being our fortress and refuge too. This is so apt  because if we're equipped with the word of God, we're actually staying within God's boundaries and we will be more defended from the devil's attack to tear us down.

It is no wrong to spend your rest day doing something you like. But make sure, you have enough time to spend time with God too. If not, you will be burned out and the feeling simply sucks like what I've been feeling. This will also make you more prone to falling sick( Not directing at anyone).

However, after seeking his word today, i thank God for this reminder in resting myself not only for my own good but also, with a well rested body, i will be able to do more for the kingdom of God.

i still find the bible the most refreshing tool in the entire world today. I am so assured that God is always with me and best still, I'm feeling so alive now that i can do some you know what.

And with enough rest, i think i should start exercising again to keep fit. A fitter body last longer, get sicks less often, and will be able to do more things.

Anyway, do not forget that our body is the temple of God. We should not treat ill-treat it but instead, give what is best for it.

I would love to give thanks to God for answering my prayers today. I assisted my mother in bringing some kids from her childcare to the zoo today on an excursion and we were praying hard that everyone will have a good time together and there will be no rain. And indeed! Both of them came to pass. What was even better was that, it rained immediately after we all set foot back into the childcare. My mother, whom had brought another group the previous day, also told me the exact same thing happened. God held the rain till everyone was safely back in their classrooms. How awesome can God  be?!

Today, while reading Matthew 8, the story of the centurion kept me thinking about the immense amount of faith level this guy has. The way he puts it, even if God commands him to fight a million soldiers, he would surely not think twice and go forth immediately. I was also reminded about prayer, which is a step of faith to ask from God. Just like the above testimony, it clearly shows that i have at least that little faith in me. However, i want to keep my faith growing so that i can be like this centurion. Wherever God ask me to go and as long as i believe in him only, everything can be done just with his authority with me. If God is with me, who can be against me.

The faith of a mustard seed can move mountains. I believe the faith slightly bigger then a mustard seed will be life changing. I will keep the faith and fight the good fight. At my last breath, i want to make sure that the life i have been leading is pleasing to God and i will never ever look back and regret this life and how i have led it.

Only you God, knows the life and path i would like to take. I pray that you will continue to be with me and just like the centurion, i will ask for you to just say the word to go, and i will definitely go and complete what i have to do in your name!

The only thing i desire now, is to have your anointing onto me. I believe and i will accomplish it. I want to be a man of faith!

⁴ The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue,
to know the word that sustains the weary.
He wakens me morning by morning,
wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.

-Isaiah 50:4

Today, while looking at the bookmarks i had on Mozilla Firefox. I was amazed to find many links to sites i have not visited for a long time, say.. My church website.

Anyhow, i also managed to unearth a long lost site called  "Our Daily Bread" which i use to read daily. It gives small input of the WOG daily and i think it is pretty damn awesome because you don't have to follow the bible systematically but you will still be able to learn and hear much from God.

The daily bread for today speaks of how we often face situations in which we are in a conversation with the heartbroken-ed or with friends who have suffered much emotionally. I'm sure we all face this all the time aye. But here's something we should know of.

It is our duty to speak and aid them in their times of trouble or worries for the bible says, as shown above, we are given the instructed tongue to speak words of encouragements to the weary. It is not necessary for the words you speak to be from the bible, but i think a correct choice of methods will prove to be much more useful than others.

It is also so true that an encouragement given with a verse from the bible will tend to be much more helpful instead of words that are overused such as..

1) "I will keep you in prayer" (Please mean what you say and you can use this.)

2) "Hope you're doing fine we will be here for you." (Haha, Like real. You know why people say talk is cheap? Never promise what you cannot deliver unless, you really can)

And the all time classic that i am too sick to hear.

3) "Jiayou" ( Wow, thanks, that solves my problem. Seriously..)

I'm not trying to bring down anyone or be sarcastic to those who always use these words but i think there are much better alternatives in the bible. I am very sure that God didn't just teach us "Jia you" or "I will keep you in prayer" right? I strongly do not believe that these are the words that will sustain the weary for only words from the bible will be able to heal the most broken heart.

³ He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.

- Psalm 147:3

Such words as mentioned above(not the verse) do not really help in solving the situation of others so i think the over-usage of them when one faces a problem will only help in..

1) Flooding the person's phone in-box.

2) Flooding the person's Face book wall.

3) Wasting the person's time in thinking you have answers to the situation.

Here are some real effective methods that are tried and tested by me, and by others to me.

1) Call the person up, speak to the person and pray for the latter.

2) SMS a prayer to the person if you are too shy for doing the above.

3) Write the person a card with verses from the bible that gives encouragement.

4) If you can, go the extra mile and look up the person.

So, what I've learnt today is that it is very important to be equipped with the word so that you can always be the encourager to the weary and weak. At the same time, keep yourself strong with the word so that you will not be the one feeling weary and weak all the time.

When you see a friend down, be the first to encourage him/her. You wouldn't know how much an encouragement would mean to the person.

So what are you waiting for? Start giving a helping hand to your fellow brothers and sisters today.

Disclaimer for this post:

Pardon me if i refer to the person as "he" or "him" sometimes because i get so use to it. Also, do pardon me as this is strictly an opinion of a phlegmatic/melancholic person and from my past experiences.

Alright, I will have a head start with a good breakfast.

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. -Romans 12:19.

Some thinker told me this verse today. I can't stop thinking about it since then. Seriously, i know the bible is the truth. But it is so hard to follow the bible. I think I've scolded and judged at least 10 people i dislike today. I've failed in doing what i have aimed to accomplish.

Here my pleads and distress to you, oh Father in heaven.

Dear God, i pray for your help now. You know how i am feeling. You know what i shouldn't be doing. I will leave the fate of these people into your hands. Hypocrites and pharisees of this world. Oh Lord, i wash my hands off them. I know i shouldn't be calling them names for i myself am also imperfect. However, their ways have nothing to do with mine, i do not want to mingle or be the likes of them. Please pour onto me more compassion so that i can actually sympathise with them for the mistakes they've make and the sins they've committed. I do not want to judge them till my death. Let me be the one to correct them, to rebuke them and to teach them with your word.

In Jesus name i pray,

Amen.

Something that I've learnt since Saturday. It is so important to  lead a prayerful and a righteous life.

For, the bible says, the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. A prayerful life will keep the faith and on going trust in him.

I'm not going to give up and quit ever again.

A prayer a day, keeps the devil away.

Today, i read Matthew chapter sayven.

It was really back to reading about the fundamental basics of becoming a good christian.

¹"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ²For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Seriously, i qualify for an A* for judging and a D- for repenting about it. I cannot stop hating the people i hate and i love to judge people by their deeds towards me. I know this is no good, but it is darn difficult to correct this stupid habit that i have.

I don't forget things easily because I've seen people pretending that they have put the past behind them, but who knows how many voodoo dolls of the poor latter that has offended him/her has been pricked by needles till beyond recognition behind their close doors. Oh crap, I think i was just being judgemental again.

It's so hard to forgive and to perceive, how much more love i need for the people. I really relate today's sermon about intercession with what I've read today. Just like Moses in the bible, i need to have the urge to pray for mercy and grace to be onto me so that i will be able to handle the people around me well without laying sinful blood thirsty eyes on them. Another powerful prayer person would be Daniel. But i don't think i will elaborate on him today.

I am also very encouraged by what was said further in Matthew sayven that God will never shortchange us and he will bestow onto us what we need if we ask for it.

"Hi, Can i have a John Mayer Stratocaster please?" Unfortunately, it doesn't work this way because this is just another selfish gain that i am seeking to have. And God, knowing me too well that i will never be satisfied being human, will obviously not give it to me because i will always crave for more. We're such greedy son of bitches. We're just wild savages with the most intellect.

⁹"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! ¹²So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Here's another thing that i realised. Just like a father's duty to provide good gifts to his children, it is also a child's responsibility to obey, listen and respect his father. This applies for both your heavenly father and to your earthly father too. Actually, i think i might give a stone to my son if he doesn't even respect me or listens to me. So.. How do you expect God to bless you if you're so rebellious against him? How can he speak to you if you are covering your ears?

This relationship with God is really a two way thing. We have to make effort daily to spend time with him, read his word and seek him. We need to have a strong foundation so that when the damn tsunami comes again or if there's another 9/11 attack, we would be able to withstand the attack because we have deep roots that bounds us to God. I wanted to say a Chinese proverb here but i can't remember, sadly.

So here's the verses about the wise and foolish builder that can be identified with what I've just mentioned.

Before that, some fun science facts for kids. A tree is able to grow taller only after its roots grows deeper into the ground. This is to ensure that the tree will remain rooted and it will be able to withstand the increasing height of the tree. If not, it will surely topple when a strong gust of wind passes by.

Likewise, to be more spiritual, grow more spiritual roots.

²⁴"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. ²⁵The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. ²⁶But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. ²⁷The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

I've really learnt many things reading today but I'm far too lazy to post all of them up. Some are personal, so.. they will have the honor to stay in my head till i die.

God has been good, i have not.

It's so sad.

If you've read till here, leave your matrix number and full name so that i can award you 10 seal points for qualifying to be cool because you've just read a cool blog post.

Thank chew. I miss chew.

Matthew 6:33-34.

³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Today, i was just such an angry kid. I was feeling pretty frustrated thinking about a hell load of things and i was just getting angrier by the minute. I also had this sinking feeling that it was the aftermath of  attending a metal concert.

I felt like i was just waking up to face a bad day. I was angry for everything and anything that happened. I was feeling so..... FML-ish.

The only things i remembered were..

I scolded people and hurled abuses at them. Sorry mates..

I scolded my soft toys and whatever unlucky non-living things that were near me. Sorry Elmo by the table..

I played the drums so hard that the drum skins were begging me for mercy. Sorry Tama..

I felt emotional for no particular reason. The thought of it still pisses me off actually. Because, i was pissed for being pissed for no reason. It made no sense but i can feel this heatwave fuming inside me growing at that point of time. Okay, wait. If you don't get me, in short, i was just feeling fucked up to the next level.

I don't know how it happened or why the heck i was feeling that way in the first place. But thankfully, after many hours of doing stupid things, i found answers in this book called The Bible.

I know i think too much everyday and it leads to many many negative thoughts running through my head. But, i am seriously comforted by Jesus from the verse above and how he has spoken to me today. Now i know, Jesus has my back fully covered.

You know, It's like playing dodge ball and you know you are safe because you are standing behind a fat person.

I figured it's time i do some big time prioritising.

Dear God, please free my crazy life from sins. I really want to be more and more like you each day. Forgive me for the sins i have commited today. The days i lead from this day, will be to follow you closely. Do as you deem fit to me and make me a salt and light to people around me.

Amen.

And in case you don't know, i do care.

And nope, i have not been drinking.

NOT.

Sorry for the one explicit word.

Today was really mind boggling insanely crazy.

Thank God for God, and for good drinks to help me to sleep.

Cheers. Good night you.

I think the book of Psalm is a very encouraging book. Each time, when I'm not in my best state of mind, i will start reading the book of Psalm randomly by flipping through it.

Each time, God has been wonderful and kind enough to me to offer me something to comfort me.

Songs are sung in times of victories and losses, in times of happiness and sadness.

The one i sing today is filled with much sorrow.

Nevertheless, i am sure, this will not be the last one i will sing.

Defining: Sad - Affected or characterized by sorrow or unhappiness.

Only you know and understand me.

It ain't wonderful tonight.